One of the things our Lord God has been doing inside me, that many other people in the world need to do is to be humbled and to learn to be okay with just being ourselves. Let me share a little piece of my testimony. Personally, I have lived all too well for this world, and I lived for it unknowingly until God called me. God's word states a lot of people perish from the lack of knowledge. (Hoesa 4:6) I wasn't in full belief God was even real before becoming a mother in 2018. Once I had my first daughter, I started to just really get this sense of ego death, holidays never felt the same, I felt I needed to go all out for holidays because it was what I was taught throughout my childhood, like my kids were missing out if I didn't celebrate it. I cared about my overall appearance, especially after children, I didn't feel good enough truthfully. Satan fed on that heavy. See, the key to being able to truly grow in the Kingdom of God is to know and be aware of the tricks and schemes of the devil and how he works in our own individual lives. For me, I had a lot of mind torment. Depression and anxiety, even some panic attacks. I used to have sexual dreams (not wanting to at all) and dreams of constantly running away, being afraid. I actually use to be on antidepressants after my first born. I truly felt like I was going crazy most of the time, I would tell my fiancé "I don't feel like myself, I use to feel more alive.'" I used to even want to commit suicide, I found no joy in anything in life. Being a mother during this was also extremely hard, I had the "mom guilt", shame. I was my biggest critic, but little did I know it was the enemy because I was willingly but unknowingly following him in areas of my life because it was just what I was taught and knew. I just started to cry out, asking why because NOTHING made sense and I had no idea why I felt the way I did, I just wanted someone to HEAR ME to UNDERSTAND ME, I didn't even address Him sometimes, I just knew somebody had to hear me. I didn't even know if God was going to hear me or how praying even worked. It didn't matter to me though, because nothing in my life was going right although I had everything I have always wanted, a family, my own house. I felt like I didn't know what was real and what was a lie in the world, I have been scammed multiply times, I had relationship issues, I was pregnant three times between 2018 and 2021 and my second pregnancy was a ROUGH one with morning sickness. I went through it truthfully and I can only thank Jesus for giving me His hand and reaching me out of my grave! For allowing me to not give up and although most of the time I was in isolation living in a new state not knowing anyone beside my intermediate family and they lived in a different town, knowing NOTHING I do now and Him STILL coming for me! I received dreams, video messages, personal encounters. I am just coming out of the darkness in all honesty, all the wounds the Lord has healed and is healing in me. After deliverance and the Lord sending me a wonderful teacher in Christ, I felt confident in picking up my Bible and learning every day how to LEAVE ALL WORDLY THINGS BEHIND. That's called dying to self and walking in the Spirit, the Holy Spirit to guide us. I can't lie, sometimes it can be tough to completely change your whole life while people around you look at you as if you are crazy. YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! Everyone else in the world is still living in childhood traditions, old habits and it may seem hard to separate yourselves. It may seem pleasing to have all you desire right now to just live how you want to live, but just remember the reward in heaven is greater and the "lake of fire" is the punishment for disobedience! Do you want to live for this world, or do you want to live for the Lord? If you feel like nothing in the world is making sense, you have that sense of '"home away from home" feeling, ITS GOD CALLING YOU BACK HOME TO HIM! Listen, I don't know who this message is for, but you HAVE TO STOP living for the world! Those shoes, the cars, the money, the drugs, the feeling to need to impress other people, to fill your happiness with materialistic items, just to find yourself back to feeling the same exact way. If you truly want that void you are feeling to go away, you need to give your life to Jesus! Most of us just accept Him into our hearts and that's it, but God's word calls us to live in Holiness for Him! (Hebrews 12:14) To pick up your cross daily and reject your flesh. (Luke 9:23) We need to be born-again! (John 3:3) Instead of focusing on YOU and putting up a front for society, be yourself and ask God what He wants YOU to do in life, humble yourself to know you don't know anything about this life, but God does. He has a purpose for all of His children. We are children of God, that's why the world and our ways don't ever seem to work in our favor! We tend to start off our mornings in rush, focused on stress, worry, what's going on in the world, and I humbly ask you, when do you focus on God? You may give time to the gym, partying, hobbies, school, work, worldly activities and entertainment, but when do you make time for God? Is it just Sundays and maybe Wednesdays at church listening to your pastor read their Bible for you? Do you even read His word daily at home for yourself? Look, I get it. Life can get overwhelming, that's where the enemy comes into play. He loves to see us unhappy, in drama, complaining, worrying, I could go on and on. In the world today it can seem hard to tune it all out, but that is exactly what you need to do. Turn OFF your phone, the news, social media, even be away from family. Be ALONE with God. BE STILL in Him! Even if you can't speak, even if you feel angry, even if you don't know what to pray or maybe you don't know what to say. JUST START, just repent and say sorry, forgive and forgive yourselves, even if you don't see things as wrong in your eyes, accept that it is in His. Put your pride aside. He is our Father, our creator. Talk to Him as if He already hears you, because regardless of sin He sees and hears all things. (Hebrews 4:13) He just wants to hear from you, grow your seed in Him. He wants to be a part of your day whether it be for the first time or maybe you realize you don't really give Him anytime. JUST TALK TO HIM. God is good, He is merciful, He is forgiving, He lives today through His Holy Spirit, He wants to set people free! Give your burdens to Jesus, stop letting the enemy steal your joy, your rest, your breath and your peace! Change comes when we stop making excuses. Amen!
I feel the Holy Spirit is wanting me to focus on some ways to know if you may have demons in my next blog, and yes even Christians who are not born-again believers can have demons. These are the ones who say their Christian, but do not LIVE for the Lord in Holiness. There is indeed a difference, it's called being lukewarm. Thank you for reading and God bless you!
* (I thank you, Holy Spirit, for using me to write this blog. I don't know who it was meant for, but I pray it gets to them and that it blesses them, in Jesus's mighty name! I praise you; I honor you; I love you, Lord! Amen.) *
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